"HR Isn't Your Friend": Rebuilding Trust in HR

Published: September 19, 2025 | By R.S. Block

I’ve worked in HR for some time now, and I fully understand how fragile trust can be in this field. For example, a Blind survey found that 70% of tech employees don’t trust HR. The 2024 Edelman Trust Barometer Special Report says only 31% of employees trust their head of HR when management doesn’t trust them. Even among HR leaders, 45% describe their company culture as having low trust. Some days, I really feel the weight of that.

When employees stop trusting HR, problems start to build up quietly. I’ve seen good people stay silent about toxic situations, unfair treatment, and harassment, hoping things will get better on their own. But those problems usually get worse and eventually come to a head, which sometimes leads to lawsuits or people leaving. It’s tough to watch, especially when I know that honest, early conversations could have made a difference.

After years of being the person in the middle between employees, managers, and the company, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why this distrust sticks around. But before I get into the reasons, there’s an uncomfortable truth in our field that needs attention.

A Word About Performative Authority

Let’s talk about the HR and other leaders who act like the workplace police. You probably know the type—they watch every break room conversation, quote the policy manual word for word, and treat every rule break as a big deal. Every interaction feels like a trap. I’ve worked with people like this, and I know how much harm they can do to our reputation.

Most HR professionals I know work hard to build trust and positive environments. Still, those who play the “principal’s office” role stand out and reinforce every negative HR experience.

I may be a little naive, but HR to me means helping people solve challenges, ensuring fairness, and fostering respect. When we treat employees as adversaries or focus on catching mistakes, we create the toxic cultures people fear. I’ve seen the impact when employees avoid HR out of fear or mistrust. Problems are hidden, resentment grows, and everyone loses. Real authority comes from being consistent, fair, and helpful, not from making people feel powerless.

Where the Distrust Comes From

After years in HR, often caught between priorities, I see key reasons the profession struggles. Employees may not realize our power is often limited. Many see HR as just part of leadership, not as an ally. I get it. I’ve seen HR unable to act or pressured to side with management. When we only follow orders or enforce rules unfairly, it’s hard for anyone to trust us.

I’ve listened to employees pour their hearts out in exit interviews, only to see their feedback vanish without a trace. Every time something like that happens, trust takes another hit.

HR has to protect the company, like every department. That’s not all. I believe in supporting employees and the organization. Personally, I try to balance rules with empathy and fairness. The best results come when I treat everyone equally, handle issues directly, and enforce policies for everyone, not just leaders.

When HR focuses just on risk, it’s easy to forget the people who keep the company running. That’s when employees stop speaking up, and we miss real chances to improve. Effective risk mitigation comes from good management.

What Helps Rebuild Trust

My view on trust building has improved. Keeping records and following policies, even when hard, sets clear expectations. I am honest about what I can and can’t do, as honesty matters. I treat everyone with the same respect and fairness, regardless of role.

I’ve seen how much harm it does when business leaders treat HR projects as just another box to check. I can always tell when someone is just doing the bare minimum, and employees notice it too. It’s frustrating to enforce policies without the necessary support or authority, or when useful feedback or data gets ignored, especially when it could have prevented bigger problems.

One tough lesson I’ve learned is that shortcuts might seem easier at first, but they usually cause problems later. I encourage employees to learn what HR can and can’t do, so everyone has realistic expectations. When people keep records and use our processes carefully, it’s much easier for me to help them. Not every problem needs an official HR complaint; sometimes, a direct talk between coworkers solves more than a formal process. Still, I want people to know I’m here to help with the harder situations, and I always try to focus on being a fair advocate, even when things get emotional.

What Happens When Trust Breaks Down

When trust between HR and employees breaks, everyone loses. I’ve seen talented people leave or seek help elsewhere. HR teams shift from partnering to just putting out fires. Turnover climbs, legal risks rise, and the company’s reputation suffers. Leaders are often surprised by sudden issues, even though the signs were always there.

I believe trust can be rebuilt; it takes time and consistent, honest effort. Both HR and company leaders need to treat people management as essential to running a business, not as an afterthought. The real question isn’t whether HR is your friend, but whether your organization is committed to creating a place where people work together with respect, clarity, and follow-through. There will always be skepticism surrounding the HR profession. I’m aware.

I’m always interested in hearing about other people’s experiences with HR; what worked, what didn’t, and how trust was built or lost. Those stories help move our profession forward and encourage us all to be better.

What's your experience with HR trust in your organization? Have you seen examples of what works - or what definitely doesn't?

About the Author: R.S. Block is an HR Manager and consultant with experience across nonprofit and federal contracting environments. She's currently writing TIMEOUT, a book about getting people strategy in the game before crisis hits. Connect with her at www.blockhrsolutions.com or on Pinterest, TikTok, or YouTube.

References

Clarey, Katie (2018). Survey: 70% of tech employees don't trust HR. Unknown Journal.

2024 Edelman Trust Barometer: Special Report - Trust at Work. (2024). Edelman Trust Barometer Special Report: Trust at Work.

Mercer Global Talent Trends 2024. (2024). Mercer Global Talent Trends 2024.